2001: me and this girl i work with were talking about True Hollywood Stories. We edit the closed-captions so that the deaf, hearing-impared, and hotties working out in the gym can keep up with the daliances of the famous. my co-worker said the other day, “you know you have a rough life when it’s only the year 2000 and your THS is only half-way done.”
2002: a gaggle of cheerleaders bum rushed my back door as I was taking out the trash last night to my surprise. they had picnic baskets with tasty foods, thermoses full of tangy fruit drinks and wines, bales of hay and trick ropes for entertainment, and of course pom-poms and silly string and ecstasy and chewing gum.
2003: jlo and ben got hitched in georgia my space watch tells me and i gave it the tivo triple red thumbs down cuz i dont care about that sort of news cuz i would make a far better beau to jlo than benlow, i wouldnt go to any damn strip clubs unless i was a judge at the jlo lookalike stripalike contest and one day there will be a wishingwell and there will be a penny and there wil be a dream and there will be a toss and it will flip in the air fly through the sky splash in the pond and sparkle my eye and everything will fall in place and she will see my face and not look away but instead say stay.
2004: i am going to the pixies concert in about 20 minutes. it should last a few hours. when i come home i want you to be there. i will make sure that i am alone.
2005: Its fine filmmaking, great writing, interesting characters, and best of all, some of the scariest eviliest bad guys you’ll ever run across. They rape you, kill you, eat you, and then sew your skin onto their clothes.
2006: its 229pm im hungover. im still in yesterdays clothes. pitt was nice enough to let me crash at his pad last night. the best thing is i got to sleep on a regulation canadian army cot. i knew id sleep well on it but i didnt know id sleep THAT great. i had vivid beautiful dreams that nearly compared to the vivid beautiful reality of last night starring two chinese twins who covered their mouths as they laughed to my dirty jokes.
2007: 17. I pretty much hate any picture I’m in.
18. I love writing every day because I once had a teacher that said that noone can write well every day.
19. I’ve met a lot of wonderful amazing people, but no one as great as my mom.
2008: we at the Times are thrilled and still a little stunned that out of 100 million blogs we have one in the technorati top 100, meanwhile those little kitties are still mopping the floor with us no matter how much marketing, no matter how much support, no matter what we cover, no matter how great our writers are. that frigging kitteh blog is just lulzing its way to teh banks.
2009: had a great night last night, great flight, great dinner. but first lets review some of the chicago trip through the magic of photographs:
2010: the winner of the cuteness award goes to the puppy
2011: who the hell are we to even call ourselves “americans”. south americans dont call themselves that, central americans dont either, and our fellow north americans – the canadians – sure as hell dont have the gall neither.
2012: Billie Joe gets pissed off at the iHeart Radio concert, swears, smashes guitar and then goes to rehab
2013: for a very long time i had a bruce springsteen poster over my bed.
2014: twenty years ago today i saw Pulp Fiction on opening night with stacy goodner